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This kind of rigor goes into a lot of my decisionmaking.Whether it’s where I’m eating, where I’m traveling or, God forbid, something I’m buying, like a lot of people in my generation—those in their 20s and 30s—I feel compelled to do a ton of research to make sure I’m getting every option and then making the best choice. I am perpetually indecisive about even the most mundane things, and I couldn’t imagine navigating such a huge life decision so quickly. Happily so—and probably more so than most people I know who had nonarranged marriages.

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I asked my dad about this experience, and here’s how he described it: he told his parents he was ready to get married, so his family arranged meetings with three neighboring families. That’s how my dad decided on the person with whom he was going to spend the rest of his life.

Twenty years after the I Kissed Dating Goodbye movement, we’re finally learning to lighten up about dating. I’m a firm believer that dating in high school is something that teenagers should do without—the problem is that too many people then take that mentality long into adulthood.

Christians tend to put the decision of who to date on the same level as the decision of who to marry.

There’s a false standard that we’ve perpetuated and let’s just put this out there: No one is measuring up.