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So, in order to snag yourself a Mulan, I present to you a White Man's Guide to Dating Asian Girls.

STEP ONE: Finding an Asian Asian girls typically hang out at one of three places: the mall, the library, or Pinkberry. If, by the end of the night, she giggles into her napkin/hand fan, you've got yourself a second date.

If the object is wider, it can rotate less-quickly, which is why Olympic divers curl up into a tight little ball when doing those crazy flips. Imagine being so poor you were forced to move into a cave. Like, that’s the sort of thing that nobody has done outside of a warzone in centuries. Even as you read this, there are currently 30 million people in China still living in caves (equivalent to the entire populations of Australia and New Zealand ). Most of those 30 million freakin’ love their living arrangements.

Raise a whole load of river water 175 meters into the air, and you’re gonna affect the moment of inertia for the entire planet. The majority of China’s cave dwellers live in Shaanxi province, where the porous soil and limestone cliffs make for easy excavation.

STEP THREE: The Relationship If you get to the point now where you're dating an Asian girl, you better understand where she's coming from.