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It might sound pretty reasonable when you first hear it except for the fact that it’s utter bullshit. It took me years of dating before I finally started ignoring this type of “practical” advice. For introverts, first dates are minefields of small talk and mindless chatter. if a tree falls in the forest and there’s no one to hear it, would this date be just as bad? As a result, I spent the following weekend on the couch, exhausted, spiraling down the rabbit hole of a bad television binge, barely able to peek around the door when the delivery guy dropped off my take-out. If you have a date scheduled that evening and you just can’t go, so be it.

There’s a problem with the one-size-fits-all wisdom commonly intoned during dating discussions (“Just put yourself out there! After jumping through the hoops of answering questions such as “where are you from? ” one too many times, you start feeling that dates are no longer probable sources of a deep, meaningful relationship, but rather deep, dark pits of despair. You tend to be sucked of all your energy as if you’ve been set upon by a Harry Potter dementor. Don’t feel the need to go into some long, drawn-out explanation either.

(Photo by Kevin Mazur/Wire Image)LOS ANGELES, CA - MARCH 20: Recording artist Justin Bieber (L) and Chance The Rapper perform at the 2016 Purpose World Tour at Staples Center on March 20, 2016 in Los Angeles, California.

(Photo by Jeff Kravitz/Film Magic)LOS ANGELES, CA - MARCH 20: Recording artist Justin Bieber (L) and rapper Big Sean perform at the 2016 Purpose World Tour at Staples Center on March 20, 2016 in Los Angeles, California.

(Photo by Toby Zerna/Newspix/Getty Images)SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - JULY 3: (EUROPE AND AUSTRALASIA OUT) Hillsong NYC Pastor Carl Lentz pictured backstage at the Hillsong Conference at Allphones Arena in Sydney, New South Wales.