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On the other hand, one needs to consider whether their confidentiality will be protected after disclosure.

It is a tug of war.“When one person is infected and has an undetectable viral load, there’s little risk of transmitting the virus to the other party and so some choose not to tell – especially if it’s casual sex.

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Anything less than that and the relationship is going to flake at some point.

You can’t disclose every tiny detail on the first date though; there’s a gradual process of mutual disclosure.“People very often don’t do that in casual relationships, and this causes trouble when a fling gradually turns into something serious.

If I bring this up my wife will wonder what I’m trying to say!

” It is assumed that each one is okay since they are ‘with each other’, he adds. Patrick adds, “It is the young girls you meet who assume you are safe because you are married.

They used condoms for the first two months of dating, “then one day we just did it without,” she says. After that I had a pregnancy scare which turned into a HIV scare. “I’d go out with my friends, meet guys and engage in some harmless flirting. He asked me if there was something he needed to know, like my health status.